


call it a waste of time, call it whatever you want, but don’t call it black and white

by lostinthesounds



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bellarke, F/M, Fluff, I don’t know what y’all saw in that, I missed this one shot and decided to come back for round two, Lots of both, but I’m giving you what you wanted finally, part two of voicemail fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:33:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26377330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: part two of that one voicemail ficAfter years of deleting voicemails, Clarke never expected they’d somehow fall into the hands of the ex boyfriend she was still madly in love with.When he confronts her for the first time since their breakup, she pushes him away. However, things change the second time around.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 45





	call it a waste of time, call it whatever you want, but don’t call it black and white

**Author's Note:**

> SIDENOTE: in the first scene, Bellamy is on rocky roads with Echo and hadn't officially broken up with her yet. 
> 
> Hey everyone, I really should be doing my assignments but I kept thinking about the voicemail fic I wrote a few months ago and scrolling through comments about how I should make a part two so I decided to make on and add onto the draft I had before. I hope you enjoy, thank you for reading!
> 
> (link to part one: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24548164 titled “you have reached a phone number thats no longer in service for you (or so I thought)”)

Clarke shuts the door on him before he could even reply, and she doesn't move until five minutes later when she hears his heavy footsteps walk away. 

She wasn't dreaming? She felt like pinching herself to make sure. 

A few days later when he shows up again after Monty's birthday party that she purposefully declined going to, she had no choice but to talk to him after six years of hiding in fear. 

* * *

She would always love watching him play, that hasn't changed. 

She just hated how stiff they both seemed to be when sitting shoulder to shoulder. 

Bellamy’s fingers glided on the piano keys easily, not having to pay much attention to the song he was playing. “I don’t know what to say, and this is the only thing I could do to help me cope.” 

“If you wanna leave because you’re uncomfortable-” She offers, nerves getting the best of her as she takes the first opportunity to stand and get out of his way. 

“ _Stay_.” He tells her, but it was more of a demand than a question and she didn’t know how to handle being that close to him. He looks away, licking his lips, “I haven’t seen you in six years and It’s a lot to handle.” 

“I wasn’t even at Monty’s birthday party.” 

  
  


“I came back to Arkadia in the first place looking for you, Clarke.” He pointed out. 

  
  


She’s at a loss for words until she forces herself to speak, and she stands abruptly. “It’s been six years, why in the world-” 

  
  


“Are you really not gonna come clean about those voicemails?” His tone was too soft for an accusation so hurtful. 

  
  


She walks away from him, hands held high in surrender. It was too late to argue, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, so if you could please leave-” 

Bellamy stands, shoulders tense and fingers gripping the piano cover. “Do you really think it’ll be that easy to forget that I’m calling you out because you’re too afraid of talking to me like a normal person?” 

  
  


“You have got to be kidding me,” Clarke exclaimed. “I’m not sure what I’m being accused for here, Bellamy.” 

  
  


“So you could just cry to me on a phone for five years, and tell me that it means nothing to you? That it never crossed your mind that you should’ve sent those voicemails, because I was still in love with you?” Bellamy pushed and pushed down the feeling of being eighteen again, of loving the girl in front of him so fiercely that he broke when she left him. Clarke looks at him with tears in her eyes, stepping backwards in surprise. 

  
  


“I didn’t know, I didn’t-” She can’t say anything else, her brain running circles with the very reality of her fears coming true. “I deleted those when I got my new phone.” 

  
  


“That’s a really smart excuse,” Bellamy scoffed, his jaw clenched with anger as he pushed back the piano bench and walked past her to reach the door. He stops once he reaches the door, turning the knob slowly, “I can’t believe you thought I was happy with being away from you, from achieving my dreams without the one person I wanted to share that success with.” 

  
  


“You would’ve come back for me, Bellamy! You were going to throw it away just to stay with me and I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t put my heart first!” Clarke sobbed, “And I don’t care if you don’t believe me when I should’ve never sent them in the first place because-” 

She didn’t believe a word she was saying, everything was a lie because she was still so in love with him that she wished she had done the opposite. 

  
  


“I would’ve come running back.” It’s all Bellamy says when he cuts her off, voice cracking. He turns around with his hands shoved deep in his jean pockets, not wanting to leave without saying this. “I would’ve wanted to know what you meant before sending me that last voicemail, where it cuts off, because I would’ve been desperate for anything.” 

  
  


“It won’t matter now, not with how things ended between us.” Clarke distances herself further from him, shrugging her shoulders in defeat.

“It won’t matter?” Bellamy repeated, swallowing down the tears that threaten to rise from his burning throat. His whole world was upside down ever since he got these voicemails, and right now he didn’t care if they were sent on purpose or accidental, but he needed answers. “I wouldn’t be here if these voicemails didn’t matter to me.” 

  
  


“Why do they matter so much?” Clarke questioned, raising her voice. “You’re the one who’s happily in love with a supermodel, you were the one that moved on.” 

  
  


“Because it’s not easy!” Bellamy yelled back. 

  
  


“Oh, please,” Clarke waves her hand, then crosses her arms defensively. She was crying now, and he feels the urge to wipe away her tears to stop making him feel bad. “You’ve had it good.” 

  
  


It’s not what he meant. 

  
  


Not at all. 

  
  


Bellamy takes a deep breath, taking a few large steps to reach Clarke until he’s looking down at her with an intense gaze that has him seconds away from pleading to stop fighting him. 

  
  


“Imagine how I felt when I heard those voicemails for the first time, will you?” He grabs her hands in a rush of emotion and squeezes them tightly, making her gasp. She won’t look at him, trying to pull herself away. “Imagine closing your eyes while holding your girlfriend of two years in your arms, and you can’t stop thinking about the girl that broke your heart. You hold the girl in your bed a little tighter, and you remind yourself of what happened that led you to that moment in time.” 

  
  


“Bellamy, that’s not my problem.” 

  
  


He cried out in frustration, “Imagine what it feels like to flashback to that night where you left my bedroom crying after saying things were over.” 

“That’s cruel,” Clarke shakes his off, pointing a finger at him. “You don’t get to do that.” 

“Do you really think it was easy for me to stay away?” 

  
  


“You did it for six years, it shouldn’t be that hard anymore. Especially with hearing those stupid voicemails.” Clarke snapped, shoving Bellamy’s chest in the opposite direction and she doesn’t stop pushing him until he’s left stumbling and doesn’t try to stop her outburst of anger and neglect of their deep rooted issues left unspoken. “It shouldn’t be this easy to fall in love with you, not again. Not like this.” 

  
  


Bellamy finally understands, surrendering his hands unsure if what he was doing would make him wake up with guilt and regret. 

  
  


“That’s what I meant,” He tells her softly. “It’s too easy to love you.” 

  
  


“Get out!” Clarke rubs her face roughly, pushing him away again. “I can’t do this anymore, Bell. I can’t be around you so if you don’t leave in the next two minutes-” 

  
  


“Do you finally understand why I came back? Why do I feel like a cheater when you were the one that made the mistake?” 

  
  


“Yeah, I do.” Clarke answered almost immediately, biting her trembling lip. “I made the mistake of letting you go because I wanted you to be happy and write those damn songs that ended up changing your entire life, and I’m the fool that’s still in love with you.” 

  
  


“ _Clarke_ -” Bellamy pleads, not wanting her to cry again. 

  
  


She points him towards the door, “Thanks for rubbing it in, that I made the mistake of sending those voicemails in the first place. I wish I never did, so you wouldn’t feel obligated to come back home and talk to me.” She waves him off, already walking towards her bedroom which felt like too far for him to catch up to her when he felt stuck in place. “It would make both of us feel better if we just forget they existed, so why don’t you pretend they don’t?” 

  
  


Bellamy couldn’t do that. He couldn’t pretend like Clarke wasn’t the love of his life, that he felt horrible for confronting her like this. He just wished they had sent two years earlier, when he wasn't with Echo.   
  


* * *

**ONE WEEK LATER**

* * *

“I told you to forget about them, I told—“ 

  
  


Clarke gets cut off by his urgency, Bellamy keeping the door open as she tries to shut it in his face. 

  
  


“I tried, Clarke. I never wanted to forget what you told me, and you wanna know why?” He pleaded for her to listen, but she wanted to get rid of him before she started to cry. She thought he was back in California, and even though that was true, he came back for her this time. And she had no idea why. 

  
  


“It was from six years ago, I don’t feel the same way anymore. Please, just go.” She regretfully begged him. Hoping words would be enough. 

  
  


It was the worst lie she could ever tell. As if she hadn’t felt her heart ache every single time she thought about him, about the day where he confronted her about the voicemails. Here she was, dressed in a pair of baggy jeans stained with paint and pen ink (she had resorted to writing songs of her lately, and although she would never be as talented as Bellamy, she used to love writing with him when they were younger) wishing that her heart would walk away from her forever just because she didn’t want to hurt him anymore. 

  
  


The door was about to click closed when he spoke, his face pressed against the wood, hands flat against the one thing that separated them. 

  
  


“Tell me you don’t love me.” 

  
  


She could hear him clearly, could hear the sound of his fingers tapping nervously, and Clarke had to close her eyes to take the moment in. She couldn’t do it. 

  
  


Bellamy tried again, “Tell me that you don’t feel the same way that you did six years ago. Tell me that you didn’t love me when I came back a year ago. Tell me that I was wrong in breaking up with Echo because she’ll love me better than you ever will.” 

  
  


“That’s not true. You know I do, Bellamy. You know that I love you.” Clarke let her head knock against the wood in defeat, mindlessly reaching for the door knob showing that she had no control over her heart. 

  
  


“I don’t want to hear that.” Bellamy pressed further. “I want you to tell me to my face that you still love me. I’ve been in love with you since I was fourteen and I hated leaving you for the record deal. Is that what you wanted to hear all this time? Is that what you wanted me to say if you ever sent those voicemails?” 

  
  


“No.” Clarke croaked. “I wanted you to be happy, to follow your dreams.” 

  
  


“I followed my dreams, baby.” Bellamy told her, and she could’ve sworn that she heard him sniffle and a fist clench against the door. She sighed when he called her that, knowing it was a weakness. She had dreamed of him calling her that again. 

She knew he accomplished what he set out to do, if it wasn’t clear from the sidelines—he had main credits on albums, shoutouts from artists, had interviews on radio stations—and she wished things would’ve been different. “Now I need you to open up the door so I can apologize for waiting so long to come back to you.” 

  
  


“There’s nothing to apologize to me for. I was the one who ruined everything between us.” 

  
  


Twisting the knob carefully, Clarke could feel hot tears well up in her eyes when she realized that she didn’t want to stop herself from opening the door. 

  
  


“You wanted me to prioritize my music, and I never got the chance to thank you for that. You pushed me to go to Hollywood with a broken heart, and even if it gave me the motivation to write those songs, I didn’t want to do any of it without you.” 

  
  


“You did it regardless, Bellamy.” She bit her lip hard trying not to start crying or smile. It wasn’t the time. 

  
  


“I followed my dreams because of you, and a part of me will always wonder what would’ve happened if you sent those voicemails. But, I know I can’t live in the past and you can’t either,” Bellamy held his breath when Clarke turned the doorknob all the way, pulling it open. He looks for her gaze instantly, and she doesn’t shy away. 

  
  


They lock eyes, two hearts connecting as one, and she lets the tears fall freely. 

  
  


Bellamy takes a step forward, as if he didn’t miss a beat. “So I’m asking you to move forward with me. I’m done chasing dreams. I’m chasing happiness and it’s always been you.” 

  
  


Clarke didn’t know what to say, letting her sleeve-covered hands cover her face as she cried. She would always be happiest when with him, and she kept thinking about the voicemails she never sent and if this conversation would’ve even happened if he hadn’t been brave enough to find her a year ago. 

  
  


She calms down quickly, remembering that her Bellamy was in front of her, and begins wiping her tears with a smile. 

  
  


He takes her hands and peels them from her face to rest on his shoulders, breathing shakily when he places them on his shoulders. The simple affection makes her heart skip, and she didn’t know reunions could feel this good. 

  
  


“Tell me if I’m making a mistake, will you?” He whispered to her, leaning in closer until their foreheads touched. His thumbs are caressing under her eyes, her hands rubbing circles on the spot under his ears. 

  
  


“This can’t be a mistake if I’ve been helplessly in love with you since I was fourteen.” The grin that spreads across his face fills her with enough butterflies in her stomach that she feels like she’s floating out of pure love for this man. “I can’t tell you that I won’t love you every single day of my life because it’s the truth and I’ll do exactly that.” 

  
  


“I missed you.” He leaned forward and kissed the edge of her mouth, and she feels like she could drop to the floor with the feeling of his lips on her skin again. “I love you, Clarke.” 

  
  


Before he could make an honest mess out of her emotions, she promises something that’ll stay true for the rest of her life. 

  
  


“I promise to chase you if you ever leave again because you’re my happiness too. I should’ve sent those voicemails before, because then I wouldn’t be miserable without you.” 

A noise comes from the back of his throat, low and sweet to her ears that make her wish he would just kiss her already. 

“Miserable?” Bellamy questioned, lips aiming higher to kiss her cheek before pushing her front door open all the way. He had a long list of things to say without the possibility of an audience watching them. “So now you know how it feels?” 

  
  


Clarke lets herself act giddy, laughing at his tease. Even letting him rest her back against the frame once they hear the click. He keeps her body close, lips gliding against the sensitive spot of her neck. Of course he would remember where that was. 

  
  


“Bragging about your songs was something I didn’t think you’d do again.” 

  
  


It was the first song he had written for Josephine and the song that made her cry for a week. 

  
  


“So give me a new song to brag about,” He hooked his fingers through the belt loops of her jeans, looking down at her with a boldness she forgot he had. She recognized the softness in his eyes, the longing of wanting to be with her after all this time, yet found herself admiring the growing smirk on his lips when he said it. Words being far from innocent. 

  
  


“I still have our old songbook, if you wanna look at it while watching a movie.” She suggested, and he huffed in disbelief before having the chance to react to the way she grabbed his collar and pulled him forward so their lips could finally reconnect. 

Watching a movie is far down the list of the things he wants do to tonight. He'll watch a movie after he shows her how much he loved her. 

“The only sounds I wanna hear are the ones that come out of you, alright?” He admits breathlessly after a few seconds, and she couldn’t help but agree. He’s left panting, holding her back from eagerly kissing him. “I’m tired of listening to voicemails. I just want to be with you.” 

  
  


* * *

When Josephine opens her emails after a busy day of interviews, she’s thrilled to see a new link to a recording of Bellamy’s new song. 

She clicks the link, and sits back at her desk to close her eyes. 

  
  


“ _Hey Josie, I hope you’re doing well. Tell your dad I said hi, like always. I’m really excited to show you this new record, but there’s something I'd like to tell you first. I know you love my writing the best, and it’s been an honor with helping you write all these years_ —“ 

  
  


He pauses, and Josephine panicked. Is he leaving the label? Quitting? 

  
  


“ _And I wanted to tell you that I wrote this song with someone really special to me."_ She would always tell him to branch out and create with other writers, sighing in relief. " _I’m not quitting, so don’t worry, but I do feel like I’m a new person. It would be great to see the song as a duet or collab, and I may know a certain silver curly haired singer that is already interested in performing with you. Let me know, and I’ll play the track now._ ” 

  
  


The track opens with soft guitar strumming, telling her it would be a ballad.

Josephine felt her cheeks blush red and warm, knowing exactly who he was talking about. Ignoring the way her thoughts had wanted to shift to all things Gabriel Santiago, she had to know who this other songwriter was, so she scrolled to the bottom of the page and read the song title. 

  
  


_Voicemails - Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin _

  
  


Really special, huh? She had to meet this Clarke soon then. 


End file.
